Do you have agonizing worries, fears or feelings of guilt, which cause you pain? Do you feel worthless? Do you feel unloved, lonely, left alone and hopeless? Do you tend to hurt yourself? Do you feel like you are stuck in a tunnel without escape? Do you sometimes consider death as the only escape? Do you think that you are different from all the others around you and something is wrong with you? Do you feel like there is nobody who understands you or can help you?
Thoughts of suicide are more common than you think
These thoughts are deceiving you, even though you cannot imagine it in your current situation. You are definitely not alone with these thoughts and certainly not crazy. Depression and thoughts of suicide are very common, especially among adolescents. Almost half of all teenagers have already thought of taking their own life. Other than traffic accidents, suicide is the most frequent cause of death for teenagers aged 14 years and up.
There are many reasons for suicidal thoughts. Stress and pressure to perform in school or at university can become unbearably high, usually coupled with the expectations of your parents. The number of student suicides rapidly increases after grades are handed out and decreases again during the vacation period. Maybe you are afraid of being unloved if you do not live up to certain expectations. Usually, you do not realize that it is not your own expectations which you are struggling to fulfill, but those of others. Every human deserves to be loved without it being conditioned on a high performance.
Suicidal thoughts are often triggered by heartache. Maybe you think that you are not attractive enough or you are dissatisfied with your own body. Maybe you hate that you are shy, you feel embarrassed by your weaknesses and believe that you are unable to approach others. One of the most commonly known reasons why teenagers torment themselves with suicidal thoughts is bullying. You have to understand that this is not your fault. Do not blame yourself for what is happening to you, rather blame the ones who are bullying and rejecting you. Maybe you have also experienced a form of physical, sexual and/or emotional violence in your family, in school, or in your close environment, and you feel traumatized by it. Perhaps the violence continues to this day.
It is hard to develop self-esteem when others consider you worthless. Nevertheless, it is important to think about the origin of your problems and worries, and to understand if you or others caused them.
Avoid people, who harm you. Surround yourself with people who support you. Work on loving yourself. Try to understand that your thoughts do not reflect your reality. Be good to yourself and tell yourself that you are strong and you will persevere. Suicidal thoughts do not come out of nowhere. If you recognize the situations that trigger these thoughts, you can do something about it.
What helps against suicidal thoughts in an emergency
Postpone your suicidal plans to „later“. For example, promise yourself to wait at least 48 hours. Lock away everything that could harm you.
Write down everything you like, you enjoy doing, or what has helped you before. Everything you want to experience in your life: Places you would like to see, children you would like to have, people you would like to meet. Everything that you like about yourself or you are proud of. In an emergency, these lists can help you.
Exercise and sport can help to reduce depression and anxiety. If you find it difficult to motivate yourself: Create a strict training schedule and plan to exercise with someone else. Or attend classes, in which you will meet new people. This might be a chance to get out of your isolation. Try to sleep well and undisturbed, as this can already help to clear your thoughts. Avoid alcohol and drugs. Using them as Antidepressant does only work for a limited time. They influence your judgement and can worsen your depression and support reckless behavior, and thus the risk of suicide. Additionally, you can get addicted and therefore have another problem you will have to face.
Write down an emergency plan that explains all the necessary steps you need to follow in case you have suicidal thoughts: Things you know can help you. When your problems become overwhelming, you take out this plan and apply what’s in it.
Strengthen your social network: Suicidal thoughts often arise from a feeling of isolation, from the fear of not having anyone and being a burden for others. But there are people to whom you are important, who want to and can help you. Try to contact at least one person per day whom you feel comfortable with and do this even if you are not in the mood for it. Create a list of at least five people and their phone numbers, which you can rely on in an emergency: Your best friend, your favorite family members, confidants. Call them if you need help. Keep trying until you get someone on the phone. Talk to them about your thoughts and feelings. This will already help you to feel better.
Get professional help!
You do not have to deal with your suicidal thoughts alone. If you cannot reach anyone from your social network, you can always call a hotline or telephone counseling – every day at any hour and in case necessary, several times a day. You can reach the children’s and young people’s phone via 0800 111 0 333, the evangelic telephone counseling via 0800 111 0 111, the catholic one via 0800 111 0 222 (only the last three numbers vary) and you can reach the number against grief (“Nummer gegen Kummer”) via 116111. You can reach out anonymously and irrespectively to your religion. You can also contact them via email. You can find the Email-Adress on the website: www.telefonseelsorge.de or www.nummergegenkummer.de.
In a support group, you can talk to people, who understand you because they have experienced what you are going through. You can get further information about support groups in Frankfurt am Main by calling 069 55 94 44.
In case your suicidal thoughts become too overwhelming, you can always call 112 in an emergency. You can ask someone to drive you to the hospital emergency room, or directly call an ambulance. You are an emergency and people will take care of you!
A therapist can help you find out the causes of your suicidal thoughts and to work on them. In most cases, depressions can be treated successfully.
You can also receive competent and anonymous counseling right here in our online counseling service. Be brave and reach out! You can also contact us in case you are worried about a friend. It is important to know that we are not there 24/7. The advice center of FeM Mädchenhaus is available Tuesday to Thursday from 12:00 – 18:00 and on Fridays from 12:00 to 17:00. During these hours the counselors read and reply to your requests. If you create a new account and contact us for the first time, you will receive an answer within 2 working days. For example: In case you write a request on Friday afternoon or on the weekend, our counselors will read and answer/ activate your reply by the next Tuesday.